Darkheart. Again.

I dreamed a very special dream tonight… :/

I dreamed I was at Samsen, and it was just like Mjølan (my school in my hometown) and Darkheart and Fera was there… hand in hand, watching me, with everything back the way it used to be, just before they left me :/ Im tearing up as I write this :/ They looked so beautiful and strong, just like they did. And we where back together. The feeling in my heart, I can still feel it like I did in my dream. I miss her so much…

I visited her again last night, online. Stupidly. Like a dog trying to get back to his old master but the door is locked and it can only look through the windows…

I think I’ve never loved a girl like I loved her.

She was the best friend I ever had, and I would do ANYTHING for her. It was me and her against EVERYTHING and she.. I don’t know. I loved her.

That’s why it was so hard for me to see you slip away.. It broke my heart that you went after that boy, started smoking weed with him. Something you where militantly against before! Then dropping out of school. Distancing yourself from all of your loyal friends who wanted nothing but the best for you. You moved away, changed dialect. Got thrown out of school and moved home as a drug addict…

I started hating you so much! You suddenly turned into EVERYTHING we where against! And I couldn’t see why!
STILL cant see why!? Why did you do all those things?? You where against the same things as I and still you just went and broke all your principles- you even got pregnant and had a kid! And you where just as against breeding as I am to this day (I even got sterilized)

I don’t get it…

Anyways… sorry for jumping back and forth on my her and you’s… It just feels right. Even if she’ll never read it.

I hated her for many years.

Now the hate has dissapeared, and there is nothing but love left… and sorrow and longing…

For the one that got away…